* God has told us that seats in heaven are selling fast -get yours at ticketmaster.com NOW! Or you may have to settle for standing. Remember - the world will only end once.
* God is a mammal
* God is better than you so get used to it
* God is single, but has high standards, so no mingers please.
* He appears if you repetitively press Ctrl+Alt+Delete (at least 5 times).
* God is away on business please leave a message.
* God could quite easily create a rock so heavy that not even He could lift it. He just doesn't want to.
* God created half-man half-lobster people called hominids
* God doesn't mind his job, but what he's really always wanted to do is write sitcom about a group of greek holidaymakers from the moon.
* God's best friend is the devil "a.k.a. satan"
* God invented the sport of lacrosse, he strongly disagrees with the sport of ironing
* God smells like winter rain.
* God farts like men.
* God could kick your ass, but he's afraid of what everyone else's imaginary friends might think.
* God eats chips.
* God was cancelled.
* God may actually be synonomous with Clint Eastwood.
* E.C. is God, but in 31337, Bob will become God.
* God is actually a Pokémon，and his most powerful evolution is Godzilla.
* God lives in a giant yacht anchored on the coast of Oregon.
* God created Pac-Man from a block of cheese.
* God created NASCAR to test humans. We failed the test miserably and are the butt of jokes to this day.
* The word dog appears when you write God in front of a mirror, coincedence i think not.
* When proposing the idea of the universe, God was laughed at by all the other gods. In retaliation God put on a ninja suit and sliced them all up, leaving him the one true God.
* God enjoys when his name is used in vain by all people. He especially enjoys the phrase "God damn!" However Jesus does not like his name used in vain, especially when his first and last name are used in vein "Jesus Christ!" God only calls him JC when he is in really big trouble.
* God hates people who spell his name G-d. Guilty parties are punished with Christian rock.
* God is responsible for 4chan.
* God eats a lot of sushi.
* God has three eyes, two of which can play mp3's but surprisingly not iTunes
* God's "Rockstar" name is Simon, but be quiet about that.
*
Actually, the whole world is a bong and we are just bits of THC. God is a 17-year-old kid who smokes a little too much.
* God really was George Burns.
* God put the MTV flag on the moon.
*
Ozzy Osbourne and God are drinking buddies!
* Godspeed is 0.99999999999999999999999091854725c (thats 0.99999999999999999999999091854725 times the speed of light). That's the speed at which 4.5 billion years passes in 7 days. (6 days working plus one of rest).
* God hates Trent Reznor and so should you.
* God is always with you...yes even when you're having a wank!
* Simultaneously pressing 'ALT' and 'F4' on your keyboard will win the favor of God.
* God has a gay roommate named Chuck.
* God actually likes Black metal music.
* It is often said that God works in mysterious ways. The same is true of Courtney Love.
* God did not rest on the seventh day; he actually just phoned in sick
*
God is a DJ
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